Hey (your name),
We need to sit down and have an honest conversation.
Not one filled with judgment, blame, shame, or guilt just a real talk about what you want this year and how you’re going to approach it differently.
First, something important to get straight:
There is a difference between you and your behaviors.
You are not your behaviors you’re you. Your behaviors are actions you choose to take.
Most people don’t separate the two. Instead, they identify as their behaviors. Your actions become who you think you are, rather than something you do. But behaviors are simply how your thoughts, emotions, and internal experiences show up on the outside.
Here’s an example.
Someone who smokes often says, “I’m a smoker.”
But what they’re really saying is that they’ve attached their identity to a behavior.
There’s a subtle but powerful shift when you say, “I’m someone who smokes.”
Same behavior different meaning.
One defines who you are. The other defines what you do. That distinction matters more than you probably realize.
Now that we’ve got that context, let’s talk about the real reason we’re here: your goals.
Like most people, you probably want to burn fat, get stronger, and feel better in your body. And chances are, you’ve set similar goals before.
But if you’re being honest with yourself, you’ve also noticed a pattern.
You start strong…
Then old habits creep back in.
You avoid learning new things.
You don’t want to look too closely at what isn’t working.
And somehow, you convince yourself that this time will be different while making the same choices as before.
This isn’t me blaming you. It’s not calling you lazy or broken. It’s just being human.
Changing behavior is hard. If it were easy, everyone would already be where they want to be. I bring this up for one reason only: awareness.
Because you can’t change something you’re not willing to look at.
Here’s the good news: Once you separate your identity from your behaviors and observe them without judgment you can actually start to change them.
Not all at once. Not perfectly. And not overnight.
The key is small, sustainable modification, not drastic overhauls you can’t maintain.
Let’s go back to the smoking example.
Instead of quitting cold turkey, you start with an inventory. How much do you smoke in a day?
Then you reduce it slightly by one cigarette, or by an amount that feels doable. You practice that for a couple of weeks. Then you reduce again.
That process is called harm reduction.
And it applies to far more than smoking it applies to eating habits, exercise routines, sleep, stress, and yes, weight loss.
Small progress is still progress. One step at a time is still movement forward.
Some behaviors are deeply wired, and that’s okay. This doesn’t mean you ignore things that harm your health it means you stop being cruel to yourself in the process.
Most things exist on a spectrum. Moderation matters. And beating yourself up has never made lasting change easier.
Here’s something that completely changed how I think about self-talk.
In the book Do Hard Things, Steve Magness explains that negative self-talk actually reduces your ability to endure hard things. It drains resilience. It makes discomfort feel heavier.
Positive self-talk realistic, supportive, encouraging self-talk does the opposite. It increases your capacity to stay in the fight. It builds belief. It helps you endure.
How you speak to yourself matters more than you think.
So, as we wrap up this conversation, remember this:
You are not your past behaviors.
You are not your missed workouts.
You are not your setbacks.
By observing your actions through a non-judgmental lens, separating identity from behavior, making small changes, and reinforcing them with positive self-talk, you give yourself a real chance to succeed.
Not all at once.
Not perfectly.
Just one step at a time.
And that’s more than enough to get started.
Remember you can only take one step at a time.Top of Form
If you’re wanting to make a true change this year, email me today to get started with your FREE consultation.